Friday, April 25, 2008

Family problems

Family problems are ever so hand to handle. They say its the kids that gives the parents some problem but as time passes by its the other way around. My tale is of the latter. The parents now gives trouble for their kids. I realized that coming from a broken family isn't all that its cracked up to be. From my parent's separation, I realized that you always had a choice.. a choice to do right or just go berserk on everything.

Most of my choices in life were good and some were not to be proud of. I am now a college teacher with almost 5years of experience whereas my sister is now a call girl (not a prostitute but a girl who works in a call center).

My sister's birthday is coming up on the 30th of April, hence her name is that of the month. My mom owns/operates a club in Luzon, that kind of club that you have girls dancing on the floor with bikinis on and teasing the audience using a pole. A business replete with the temptations of the flesh. Prior to that kind of business my mom used to be a recruiter of Filipino entertainers for Japan. When things went sour for her, she turned to local club operating. It has often been our argument for her to enter into a legally sound business, the concept of which is almost alien to her; after all Illegal dealings came with big and easy money.

I am based in Cebu, just minding my stuff. When my sister came knocking to my room bringing her cellphone with a SMS (text) from my mom informing her that the local electric company found out that they placed a jumper and is asked to pay 1million. My mom said to the effect of going into hiding. She said she didn't wanted things to go this sour and apologized for her specially that my sister's birthday is coming.

My sister kept on crying even in her bed. I did something that I have never done to her. ..

I hugged my sister, told her that things will be fine and mom can fend for herself. Hoping that things will be brighter for all of us. I kissed her cheeks a couple of times saying 'its ok to cry'

I know I have not been a brother to her many a times and I have miserably failed in this department. I just hope to make it up to her somehow, I can only pray and believe in the promise of better things are just ahead of us.

Filipino's are always happy even if they are facing the biggest burden of their lives. That's how I will be: Happy!!!

University + nursing students?

Cebu City

The school where I work for has been included in some controversy surrounding a video regarding some rectal operation on a gay to remove a deodorant rammed on his anus after a drinking binge with his lover.

As a teacher for the institution, I standby our school. Although it is true that some nursing students indeed give most teachers some headaches; I can not just lump all of them as bad. I pity those nursing students who spend their nights burning their brains just to achieve their dream of working as a nurse; after all a reputation has to count.

I am not privy as to the degree of participation of our student. For the record let me state that I handle classes for the Arts and Sciences Department, usually first years and not fourth year students. As a person, I am sure that our school authorities from the President down to the faculty members have exercised the degree of diligence and supervision required of them.

The current news regarding the mess of a successful operation on the gay where someone poked fun at him, and violated his privacy is that he wants 6million pesos as indemnification. The amount might seem to high and unreasonable, but a damage to one's reputation is often incapable of pecuniary estimation.

We can not put a real value to the humiliation of a person. Tempting as it might be to ridicule that gay. I have to look inside my own sins and face that reality that I am no different from that gay. I am a sinner, far more than anyone. If my sins were counted I would have gone to the depths of hell.

I can only try to live my life to pay for my sins of the past. Those little transgression that I have done and hope to live a life worth emulating.

I pray that we can live a life worth living and imitating.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Sphere of Influence

I was on my way to class yesterday. When a former nursing student of mine in Philippine Constitution approached me to inform me that she has decided to shift to Political Science. I starred blankly at the floor after that, I wondered if I was a factor in her decision.

I am not sure if I have influenced her to shift courses. Being a teacher is tough, its like acting tough when deep inside you're as soft as a toilet paper.

Today I discussed the deviant behaviors on Sociology. Things like Prostitution, Drug Addiction and stuff. It is shocking to know that the youth these days are a tad wilder with things going on like f*ck Buddies, Sex Eye Ball. Things like that makes prostitution seem like elementary.

We all do have our needs. Be it sex, food, and spiritual needs. We are human beings try our best to fill such a void. In reality Deviant behaviors makes the world more fun, it shows people can change for the better if given the chance. The world would be a bleak, boring and generic place if not for them. They just need some affection, they are not any different from us.

Students glee with delight when things like sex are discussed but when I discussed why some people go into a form of addiction, they see an image of them inside it. We have all been an addicts to some particular form. It can be an object or any physical urge but that challenges us to stand up and do our best to change.

Change does not happen instantly, it takes a lot of time. I pray that I would also mature to become a far better person that I am now.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

A year after can dreams still exist?

It has been so long since my last blog. I was filled with trying to fulfill my dreams to become a lawyer.

After graduation from Law school, I didn't want to take the bar exam immediately. I wanted to rest for a year or so but my parents prod me to take it. I gave up a job, had a fight with my father (as he wanted to get married again despite a valid pre-existing marriage with my mother, at a church just beside our ancestral home). All of those occurred whilst I was reviewing for the bar exams.

When the results came out, I felt a lump of sorrow down my throat. I felt the pain of going through studying for 8hours a day and only to fail. For some odd reasons, I heard J. Timberlake's song 'Cry Me a River'

I used to work for Royal Christian College and our slogan was 'make your dreams into a reality' sadly mine didn't.

Looking back them I am just thankful. After the bar exams, finding a job during the October, of last year, is among the most difficult times for employment what not with the up coming Christmas. I am just happy that I was able to land another dream job, teaching in an actual University. I landed a teaching job at my alma matter (University of the Visayas), teaching college students is a joy and at the same time a frustration. Last year, I can still imagine how those student can easily back stab someone who is doing a good job. I still teach Philosophy but now I also handle sex education... Crazy as those books I kept buying like the Joy of Sex is indeed useful.

I also can't believe I have a girl already. True, I shouldn't compare an ex to a current gf. Marriage plans? I am not so keen as I want to see how things would go. I am tired of being in a relationship, dream of marrying and just when things are going great BAM! your go your separate ways cue in a song entitled 'Tell me where did I go wrong?'

With this post I want to renew my commitment to blogging and posting my thoughts, here's to me coming back!